…Etta.

With friends and family, Etta sat behind a table beneath a tent.  The table was covered with paintings.  Her paintings.  She was there to sell them, but it wasn’t an occasion for selling.  It was an occasion for walking around and listening to music, looking for friends, chatting them up, meeting new acquaintances from the neighborhood and visiting people who were strangers to the neighborhood but wanted to see what was going on.  For example, the person next to Etta was trying to sell chocolates.  They are much smaller than paintings.  She wasn’t doing a bang-up business, either, though the chocolates did look yummy.

You can reach Etta at (503) 780-1568.  Click on the picture, too.  It gets bigger.  On my browser, if I click even again – it gets even bigger.  Plus, I will soon create a page that shows some of her paintings.

I like painting.  I like writing.  I like music.  Artists of every type should be free to ply their craft and to make a living.  The way I can help is to create a web page for Etta’s paintings.  The way you can help is to tell everyone you know that you can find the paintings at LloydDistrict.com (and soon at TerrLight.com).  Also, please link to it from facebook, twitter, forums, and any place you can…

That’s what happened to me.

I’m a big guy and in the last year and a half, I’ve put on a bunch of pounds.  I tried to burn more calories than I consumed and at first, things worked fine.  Then?  Somewhere along the way, I quit weighing myself and paid no attention to what I shoved in my mouth.

Anything with barbecue sauce is a favorite.

On the “Minimum Wage Diet & Weight-Loss Program” I’ve lost over thirteen pounds so far.  In less than twelve pounds, I’ll be down to what I once called my ‘fat weight.’   Then I’ll focus on my ideal weight, which means I’ll lose another twenty pounds (or so).  The doctors will love me, but most importantly, my wife will love me more than she does right now.  Well, that’s not true (she kicked me when I read that part to her).  She loves me anyway.  Maybe I’ll just feel better about myself.

And it’s easy!

Well, it’s mentally easy.  Here’s what you do…

…get a job.  Not just any job.  Get a minimum wage job (or thereabouts).  You know, a job as a parking lot attendant, janitor, security cop, fast food server, greeter at Wal-Mart, fire-watch in the Forestry Service, retail sales clerk in the mall…

Ideally, the job will require large amounts of time on your feet.  It can be part-time, seasonal, or temporary.

If you were the chief executive of a company (I was), it doesn’t matter.  You only have to want to lose weight.

The “minimum-wage diet and weight-loss program” doesn’t stop there.

If you have a car (as I do), ideally, you should not use it.  Ride on mass transit and walk.  I ride Portland’s Max from the Lloyd Center in the Lloyd District to Downtown (it’s our light rail streetcar).  Walk approximately three-quarters of a mile to the bus or streetcar, three-quarters of a mile from the transit stop to work, then reverse it when you travel home.  If you choose not to use mass transit, at least figure out how to use it.  Dare to do something different.  If you choose to drive your car, don’t park at work.  Park three-quarters to a mile away, then walk.

Cut down on eating, too.  You’re allowed up to three cups of coffee, water, two twelve ounce sodas (or equivalent), one yogurt, a very small bowl of cereal or half a bagel, and two-thirds to half of what you would normally eat for dinner.

Eat less.  Do more.

Every once in a while, declare a “diet holiday.”  Then you can have barbecue, chocolate, ice cream or a few potato chips.  Not a lot!  And you have to resume the program!

If a friend spots you and knots his eyebrows quizzically, pat your belly (or other body part) with the flat of your hand so that it makes a loud popping noise, laugh robustly, and proclaim you are on the “(Your name here) Minimum Wage Diet and Weight Loss Program!”

Be proud.  Be loud.

One writer I hadn’t heard of is a best-selling author.  Brent Weeks.  I identified with the story he read most because it seems, at least to me, that he writes adventure stories set in a fantastic world.    He mentioned that he writes fantasy because “Swords are cool!”  How can you argue with that?

Another writer I hadn’t heard of was Jay Lake.   He seemed to be more of a word-smith than the other two and I appreciate his ability in the way that I respect Kurt Vonnegut or Douglas Adams.  He wore shorts.  I like shorts.  He wore a loud shirt.  I like loud shirts.

The third author was Kay Kenyon.  I’ve heard of her, though I don’t know exactly why just yet.  Perhaps it is shelf space at the local Barnes & Noble, although she was born the same year I was.  That doesn’t say much for me, does it?  She’s published eight novels.  I think they are considered fantasies, but I’m not certain.  I also think they are considered romances.  She was the most down-to-earth of the group, in my humble opinion.

The three were introduced by Mary Robinette Kowal.  All three of the authors were interesting speakers, but Mary is an author, too (though I don’t know what she writes yet) – and she seemed to stand out.  She is also the one that said members of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers Association (SFWA) often shortcut the organization’s abbreviation into, “Sefwa.”  Then Brent said he always pronounced it, “Sifwa.”  That’s when Mary admitted to the controversy.

I admire all four of the authors and anyone that has been published, whether they are great writers, networked through friends, or stuck it out long enough to write what they want.  By the way, did you know there was something called the Pacific Northwest Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers Association?

Neither did I.  Because, they don’t.  I was confused.  They have a Pacific Northwest reading program for the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer’s Association.

It took five years for Brent to get published and eleven years for Jay.  Kay worked in commercials first, so she was already being paid for writing.  A good question for Kay would have been – “How long before you got paid for writing what you wanted to write?”

Another question I should have asked was, “During the time were you unpublished, was it because no one noticed you or because you needed to improve your skill?”

That would be a good question.

I thought of another good question just a moment ago, but forgot what it was.

Damn.

The store sells cigarettes – undoubtedly cigars, too – cold beverages, a bit of wine, phone cards and some things I’m sure I didn’t notice.

The place seems like it is always busy.  A shopper might have just left or a customer is about to go in, and cars are almost always parked along the curb out front.  The cashiers let you get in and out very quickly or they’ll chat with you and listen to your story –- if you have one.  Just be sure no one else is waiting and the cashier is not on the phone.

I don’t smoke.

Once upon a time, I smoked cigars – not the big ones that are supposed to taste great, but Clint Eastwood sized cigars with a wooden tip on the end to clench between your teeth.  I started smoking cigars because my plan was to break the habit of smoking.  Instead of a pack of twenty cigarettes, I would smoke fewer cigars, then quit.

It wasn’t an effective plan.

Years later, here’s what did work…

…my heart specialist said he wouldn’t see me again as long as I smoked.  Do you think I quit?  No.  Seven or eight years later, knowing I had to see him the next day – I quit.  I haven’t smoked since.

So why am I writing this, promoting a cigarette outlet?  Since I used to smoke, I believe smokers should get cigarettes and cigars as cheaply as possible.  However, I think they should squeeze the butts till the cherry hits the ground and put the butt in the trash or a pocket afterward – not flick them away.  I’m not a fan of littering.

If you drop by Discount Tobacco and Cigars and the door is locked, someone will probably be back in a few minutes.  I’ll tell you a secret.  The place is so small, the cashier’s have to go next door to take care of business.

You know what I mean.